FRIENDSHIPS
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BEST FRIENDS FOREVER
Just like with true love (which, in my humble opinion, is a myth), the course of true friendship never does run smooth. The reason for this, I believe, is because my best friend (whom I refer to as Whore) loves drama. In fact, I think he is addicted to it. And although I am loathe to admit it, so do I.
Although our friendship is relatively young, it has a very old soul. I say this because in the 1-and-a-half years that we have known each other, it has been tested on a regular and arduous basis. Like any co-dependent emotional cripples, however, we always find our way back to each other. Behind all of our histrionics, however, there is a deep and enduring connection to one another, which neither of us can explain.
In order to explain our strange connection it is probably a good idea to explain how we met…
It was an ordinary day for me on Facebook, doing what I like to call “Research”. During my online investigations, I happened upon a curious profile, which I had not seen before. Looking at the profile picture, I couldn’t decide if it was a man or a woman, so naturally I made the logical conclusion that it must be a male-to-female transsexual. Having always been obsessively curious about transsexuals (amongst other things), I attempted to initiate a conversation with Heidi Van Kleef.
As I would later learn, Heidi Van Kleef is a drag queen persona slash fictional princess from a fictional country called Punania. These days she is a G-list celebrity blogger and one of the gay community’s most outspoken shit-stirrers. And most importantly, Heidi is how I met my BFF- the artist behind the Heidi Van Kleef persona, whom I affectionately came to nickname Whore (which is another story altogether).
After speaking for a month on Facebook, Whore and I agreed to meet in person for the first time. The date we chose was the 1st of April, since Halloween just seemed too far away. Since that day we have been pretty much inseparable, and often suffer from excruciating separation anxiety for the few hours a day that we are not together. Perhaps, dear reader, you may think this is unhealthy? And, no doubt, you would be correct.
Like most things in life, too much of a good thing can be bad. Unfortunately, Whore and I had to learn that the hard way. The problem with spending all of our time together is that it leaves no room for anybody else, not to mention the fact that we usually end up bickering like an old married couple. We have both decided that it’s in our best interests to slowly and tentatively separate. To be honest, it is a painful process and feels something like somebody ripping a piece of Velcro off your heart. It’s kind of like a break-up except that we aren’t breaking up.
You see, the thing about friendship is that it really never has to end. Unlike relationships, which usually have a shelf life, friendships can endure for a lifetime. The reason for this, I think, is due to the distance between the two individuals: in order to grow, a person needs space. When you are married or in a “domestic partnership” with someone, it is inevitable that your room to grow will become hampered. Either that or the two people will become so intertwined that they will become one person. And since neither Whore nor I want to be that needy and co-dependent, that is not an option for us.
Even though growing separately may mean that we grow apart, Whore and I are prepared to take that risk. Because at the end of the day the fact remains that he is my best friend, and no matter who else comes into my life he will always be my Best Friend Forever.
About the author
Hi I'm Tits. Tits Mcgee. I like to write. I like to write about me. I'm not a narcissist or anything it's just that somebody needs to tell the story of my life because, truly, it’s not to be believed.
